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About Catania

Heard this story – guy matched a girl, total babe. sextin’ for weeks, all hot n’ heavy. Meets her – it’s his cousin. COUSIN. Galaxy’s fucked up, man. “I can’t stop thinking about her,” Theodore whined. Me? I’d burn the app down. Sex-dating’s a mindfuck – half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, half the time you’re prayin’ for a spark. I’m tellin’ ya, kid – it’s the Force, but horny. And messy. So damn messy. *heavy breathing* I am your father – and I’ve seen it all.

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After a few drinks, we decide to hit up the local market. It’s buzzing with people, and I’m feeling the energy. I grab some fresh bread and cheese. I mean, you can’t go wrong with that combo, right? But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. Like, dude, it’s a tomato! Not a diamond!

Ex-Nazi officer's holiday in Italy cut short