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About Genoa

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the main artery of this place. I’m cruisin’ along, just vibin’, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like a turtle on a mission, super slow. I’m like, “C’mon, man! You got this!” But he just gives me this look like I’m the one who’s lost. Classic.

Monza: Albanian citizen arrested in Manchester with a European Arrest Warrant for serious crimes.