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But yo, pisses me off—some parlors fake it, actin’ all “spiritual” then bam, $20 extra for nothin’! Rip-off artists, man, I’d knock ‘em out! Still, when it’s real—damn—hands hittin’ spots ya didn’t know ya had, it’s like “a woman’s resilience amazes me” from the flick. Surprised me first time, legit thought “this ain’t boxin’, this is better!” Hella awkward too—dude’s breathin’ all heavy, I’m like “chill, bro, I ain’t ya date!” Laughed my ass off after.

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Anyway, I head over to the town hall on Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, but today it feels like a pressure cooker. The mayor’s pacing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. He’s worried about the upcoming festival. You know, the one where everyone eats too much gelato and pretends they’re not sweating buckets? Yeah, that one. He thinks the prison’s gonna be a target. I’m like, “Dude, if they want gelato, they’ll go to Gelateria Bellusco, not break into a prison!”

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