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But ugh, once—ONCE—this chick dug in too hard. I’m like, “Ow, lady, I ain’t dough!” Made me mad as hell, nearly stormed out. Then she eased up, and whoa—happy again, floatin’ like a cloud. “The past is a ghost,” like Almodóvar says—let it go, feel the now. That’s sexual-massage, babe, it’s livin’! Surprised me how deep it hits—not just skin, but soul.

Centro Benessere Saint Tropez S.r.l.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. “My car’s making a weird noise!” she yells. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, join the club!” But I keep it cool. I ask her to show me. We go outside, and her car sounds like a dying cat. I’m trying not to laugh.

Lieutenant General Marco Chiarini