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D’oh! So, sex escort, huh? Man, it’s wild out there. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “There Will Be Blood” – ya know, my fave flick – and it hits me: escortin’s kinda like drillin’ for oil. You dig deep, hopin’ for a gusher, but sometimes ya just get mud. Hah! I seen these gals – and guys too – strutin’ their stuff online, X posts flashin’ pics, all glammed up. Makes me wanna yell, “I drink your milkshake!” ‘Cause they’re suckin’ up attention like Daniel Plainview sucks up oil, ya get me?

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I get there, and this guy’s got a fancy ride. A shiny Audi, all decked out. I’m like, “Nice car, man!” But then I pop the hood, and it’s a mess. I mean, come on! How do you let it get this bad? I’m sweating bullets, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. I replace it, and the dude’s all smiles. I’m like, “You owe me a coffee, bro!”

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