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Oh, and the drama—whew! One time, heard ‘bout an escort ditchin’ a dude mid-date—left his ass at the bar! He was actin’ a fool, talkin’ smack. She said, “Peace, loser!”—I STAN! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all—no time for clowns! Like Sofia’s film—quiet chaos, but they OWN it. Escorts? They’re the stars, periodt!

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I get there, and this guy’s got a fancy ride. A shiny Audi, all decked out. I’m like, “Nice car, man!” But then I pop the hood, and it’s a mess. I mean, come on! How do you let it get this bad? I’m sweating bullets, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. I replace it, and the dude’s all smiles. I’m like, “You owe me a coffee, bro!”

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