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This one time, I’m scrollin’, see this hot chick, right? Bio says “lookin’ for fun” – perfect, I’m in! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m thinkin’ I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano, gonna close the deal. Meet up, and – surprise, surprise – she’s got a dude waitin’ in the car! What is this, a setup? Felt like Bigelow’s camera zoomin’ in, heart poundin’, “This is my life now!” I’m yellin’, “What’s this bullshit?!” She’s like, “Oh, he’s just my ride.” Yeah, ride this, lady! Walked away, fumin’, but kinda impressed – ballsy move, gotta give her that.

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, she lost her phone. I’m like, “Chill, we’ll find it.” But she’s wailing like it’s the end of the world. I mean, it’s just a phone, right? But I get it, it’s her lifeline. So, I help her look, and guess what? We find it in some dude’s pocket. Classic!

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