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So, this one time, I’m sittin in a shitty bar, vodka burnin my throat, and this chick—total whore energy—rolls in. Skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, eyes like she’s already sized up your wallet. I’m thinkin, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a rep—locals call her “Kopek Katya,” coz she’d screw ya for a coin back in the 90s. Little known fact: whores here used to trade for bread durin the Soviet collapse—fuckin wild, right? Starvin and still struttin.

Bastia Umbra, Italy: places of interest in the small Umbrian town of Bastia Umbra

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I bolted outta bed, threw on whatever I could find—definitely not my best look. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? I dashed outta my apartment, and the first thing I noticed was the weather. It was like the sky was having a mood swing. One minute, sunny vibes, next minute, dark clouds rolling in. Ugh, typical Bastia Umbra.

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