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Oi, mortals, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! I’m burdened with glorious purpose, yeah? So, sexual-massage, let’s dive in, mates! It’s all slippery hands, steamy vibes—proper sensual chaos. Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color* again last night—Adèle’s eyes, mate, “I’m burning up” vibes! That film’s got passion dripping everywhere, like oil in a sexual-massage sesh. Imagine it—dim lights, some cheeky git rubbing your back, tension melting faster than Thor’s brain in a fight.

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So, I finally get to the fields, and guess what? One of my sheep, Baa-bara (yeah, I named her), is missing! Like, how does a sheep just up and leave? I’m freaking out. I start calling her name, “Baa-bara! Baa-bara!” People must think I’m nuts. I’m running around like a headless chicken.

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