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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinking about my flock. I grab my stick, my trusty old hat, and head out. But first, I gotta grab a coffee. You know, the good stuff. I swing by this tiny café on Via Roma. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. “Cappuccino, no sugar, right?” he says. I nod, half-asleep.

Talking to Teens and Tweens About Coronavirus (Published 2020)