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Escortin’s got layers, mate—peel ‘em back, it’s bonkers! Some punters spend mad cash, like £10k a night—mental! Makes my wallet cry just thinkin’ it. And the slang they use? “GFE”—girlfriend experience, soft stuff, cuddles and that. Then there’s “PSE”—porn star experience, proper full-on! Me, I’d be knackered just pickin’ one, haha! “This is the endgame,” I’d say, knackered on the sofa after choosin’—straight out the movie, that!

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Then, I had a client meeting at a café on Via Madonna del Ponte. I was all set to help this lady find a dress for her daughter’s wedding. She was late, of course. I mean, c’mon, it’s Balestrate! You can’t be late to a meeting when the sun’s shining and the gelato’s calling! Finally, she shows up, and she’s like, “I need something fabulous!” I’m thinking, “Girl, we’re in a small town, not Milan!” But I kept my cool.

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