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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, right? Picture this: dark streets, neon buzzin, kinda like *Under the Skin* vibes—y’know, my fave flick. That movie’s got this eerie chick, alien-like, prowlin for blokes. “What are you doing here?” she’d ask, all sultry. Me? I’m skulkin round, eyein the scene, thinkin—how’s this even work?

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Then, I had a client meeting at a café on Via Madonna del Ponte. I was all set to help this lady find a dress for her daughter’s wedding. She was late, of course. I mean, c’mon, it’s Balestrate! You can’t be late to a meeting when the sun’s shining and the gelato’s calling! Finally, she shows up, and she’s like, “I need something fabulous!” I’m thinking, “Girl, we’re in a small town, not Milan!” But I kept my cool.

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