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About Bari

Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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Then, I head out to meet another client at a café on Via di Montisoni. I’m thinking, “Finally, some chill time.” But nope! The café’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting for my croissant, and this guy spills his espresso all over me. I’m drenched in coffee! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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