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So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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So, I head over. The villa is stunning, man. The fountains, the gardens, it’s all so extra. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see Marco, and he’s got this wild look in his eyes. He’s like, “You won’t believe what I found!”

Results of Pearson's Chi-squared test with simulated p-value (based on...