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Hate tha fakes, tho—makes me hiss loud! Once got a “sensual” one—advert said “proffesional”—pfft, typo queen! Bloke’s hands like sandpaper, no oil, just scrubbin’—me’s ragin’! “This is your extraction,” he says—extraction of me patience, ya twit! Stomped out, swearin’, never again—well, maybe.

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After the meeting, we decided to grab some lunch. We hit up this little trattoria on Via Cuma. The food? Oh man, it was heavenly. I had spaghetti alle vongole, and let me tell you, it was like a party in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a piece of my bread! I was like, “Hey! That’s my lunch, you feathered thief!” Everyone laughed, but I was half-serious. I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts?

Marvelous Marble Floor Of Sunken Roman Villa Restored in Bacoli