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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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Next, I hit up the local market on Via Mazzini. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some figs, ‘cause why not? They’re like nature’s candy. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s waving her hands, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the drama unfold. It’s like a soap opera, but in Italian!

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