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So, I’m riffin’ like a guitar master, strings screamin’, and this one time – true story – some underground joint in Gotham, chick’s givin’ me the rubdown, but she’s usin’ olive oil! Freakin’ OLIVE OIL, man! Smelled like a damn pizza, had me laughin’ hysterics – “What’s next, mozzarella?” She got pissed, I’m cackling, “Why so serious?” Made me happy as a clown in chaos, but damn, that oil slicked me up good – slipped right off the table, BOOM! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they used oils too, but not freakin’ salad dressin’!

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Finally, I get to the beach. The sun’s out, waves crashin’, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ my lunch fly away. I mean, really? A seagull? I’m a stuntman, not a bird feeder!

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