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About Rome

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s tryin’ to cross the street, and cars are zoomin’ by. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let her cross!” So, I run over, wave my arms like a madman, and finally, they stop. She gives me this huge smile. Made my day, for real.

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