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Oh, and the smell – Gawd, it’s rank! Like, worse than my ex’s cologne, and that’s sayin’ somethin’! I’m thinkin’, “Anyone can cook, but not THIS!” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, right? Whore ain’t winnin’ no Michelin stars, lemme tell ya! I chucked it back, said, “Swim away, ya big lug!” Watched it sink, felt kinda proud – like I beat the sea’s ugliest beast!

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama. I hit up the old castle, Castello di Aviano. It’s stunning! I mean, the views are insane. You can see the mountains in the distance. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I realize my phone’s about to die. Typical!

Obituary: Barbara Ann Small Wilcox Lyons