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About Bari

Personal take? Had one in Moscow once—dude’s hands were magic, I’m yellin’, “BRO, YOU’RE KILLIN’ ME!” Felt like Emma in *Blue*, whisperin’, “I missed you so much,” but to my damn spine! Shit got weird tho—lady next door thought I was dyin’, banged the wall—fuckin’ HILARIOUS. I was mad—ruined the vibe—but also happy, ‘cause—damn, that release! Pro tip: don’t go cheap—sketchy parlors give you lotion and a prayer—nah, fam, splurge for the real shit.

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I’m like, “C’mon, phone! Just a few more pics!” But nope, it shuts down. I’m standing there, feeling all dramatic. “Why, universe? Why?”

Obituary: Barbara Ann Small Wilcox Lyons