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Ok, but real tea? The Escort ZX2 from the ‘90s – sporty, sassy, my soulmate. I’d name her Kourtney, obvi. Once, my friend Kris saw one at a sketchy lot, rusted af, and I was like, “Nooo, how dare they disrespect her?!” Made me so mad, I could’ve screamed – “This is our time!” – straight outta “Spotlight.” But then, happy vibes: found a mint one online, cherry red, and I’m like, “Literally perf!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what? I didn’t sign up for this! I’m running for cover, dodging puddles. I duck into a little shop on Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s cozy, and the owner is super nice. She offers me a free sample of some local wine. I’m like, “Yes, please!”

Obituary: Barbara Ann Small Wilcox Lyons