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About Bologna

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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So, first call is from some dude on Via XX Settembre. He’s locked outta his car. I’m like, “Bro, did you check your pockets?” But no, he’s all panicky. I send a guy over, and while I’m on the line, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, it’s just a delivery truck that backed into a lamppost. Classic Avezzano, right?

Dramatic Hit-and-Run in Avezzano