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About Bari

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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Then, I hit up Via dei Cappuccini. It’s this narrow street, and I’m walking, just enjoying the vibe, when I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant! But I catch myself, and this old man nearby chuckles. I give him a thumbs up, like, “All good, just practicing my dance moves!”

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