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Met this chick once—profile said “fun, no strings.” Perfect, I thought. Two hours later, she’s crying about her ex. Fuckin’ hell, I didn’t sign up for therapy! Made me mad—swipe right, not babysit. But then, this other time—blonde, tattoos, smirks like she knows shit. We clicked, no words wasted. “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups,” she said, quoting the movie. Smartass. Hooked up, left happy—rare win.

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Then, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up a little trattoria on Via dei Soderini. The pasta? To die for! I ordered the vincisgrassi, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug in a bowl. But then, I overheard this couple arguing about the best gelato in town. Like, seriously? Who cares? Just get both!

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