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What suprised me? The hush-hush codes they use! Escort drivers got signals—two beeps mean “VIP’s cranky.” Cracked me up learnin’ that! Texture-wise, it’s gritty—sweaty palms, polished wheels, tense vibes. I’d paint it rough, man, like WALL-E’s scratched-up hull. Once heard a story—some escort guy in ‘89 ditched a celeb mid-ride ‘cause they wouldn’t stop singin’ off-key. Ballsy move! Made me cheer— “Buy n’ Large ain’t in charge here!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this cute dog runs in. A little pup, all muddy and wagging its tail. I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” I forget about the water and start playing with it. I mean, who can resist a dog, right? But then, the owner shows up, and it’s this old lady from the neighborhood. She’s like, “That’s my dog, you little rascal!” I’m laughing, but also, I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to save some metal here!”

All of Carrie Underwood’s Glittery Outfit Changes at the CMAs