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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the shoemaker, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my wild take on escorts! So, escort – not the car, nah, the folks who, ya know, “accompany” ya for a price. Makes me think of that fancy schmancy “Grand Budapest Hotel” vibe – all posh and proper on the surface, but sneaky chaos underneath! Like when Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – I’m screamin’ that at some shady escort deal gone wrong in my head.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Master of the Forest ain’t always chill vibes. So, I roll into Arcola, right? This little gem in Italy, all quaint and stuff. I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be a peaceful day, just me and the trees. But nah, life had other plans.

‘Predator with a badge’: Former Arcola police officer gets 20 years in federal prison for raping woman while on duty