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But yo, some places fuck it up—piss me off big time! Cheap-ass oil, stinkin’ like gasoline—makes me wanna grab my M16 and go, “Say hello to my little friend!” Ruins the vibe, man! I’m all about that high-class joint—dim lights, soft tunes, chick who knows her shit. One time, this broad—fuckin’ goddess—worked me so good, I swear I saw stars. Thought I was Hans Landa, negotiatin’ my damn soul! “That’s a bingo!” I yelled—couldn’t help it, felt too damn good.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the market on Via Mazzini!” I’m down, so I head over. The market’s packed, like always. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes that look like they’ve been kissed by the sun. And then, I spot this old lady selling homemade pasta. I’m telling you, her gnocchi could make you weep. I buy a bag and feel like a champ.

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