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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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So, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, right? But then, I decide to grab lunch at this little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I order the orecchiette, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. But then, the waiter spills water all over me! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t order a shower!” He’s super apologetic, but I’m just laughing it off. It’s Aradeo, after all. You gotta roll with the punches.

‘We were treated like criminals’