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About Naples

Eh, what’s up, doc? So, me, Bugs Bunny, ichthyologist extraordinaire, I’m divin’ into this sex-dating thing, ya know? Fish and dating—kinda similar, slippery lil’ suckers! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick—boom, tension, chaos, right? Sex-dating’s like that, a freakin’ minefield! You swipe, you chat, you hope it don’t explode in yer face like, “You’re not here to defuse it, you’re here to set it off!”

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So, I’m buzzing from the caffeine, and I decide to stroll down Via Garibaldi. It’s a beautiful street, lined with those cute little shops. I pop into this tiny boutique. The owner, Lucia, is super sweet but also a bit nosy. She’s like, “You still single?” I’m like, “Lucia, I’m just here for the shoes!” But she keeps pushing. I swear, if I had a euro for every time she asked about my love life, I could buy the whole store.

Stefano De Martino close to Emma Marrone for her pain