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I tried it once, ok, maybe thrice. This dude, Chad – ugh, CHAD – smelled like Axe and desperation. Kept texting “u up?” at 3 a.m. Bro, I’m asleep, not dead! Made me so mad I could’ve screamed, “You’ve got no pity in your heart!” straight outta Lars von Trier’s script. But then there’s this other guy, quiet, artsy – jackpot! We hooked up, and I was like, “This is my reward!” Sex-dating can surprise you, legit shocked me how chill it was.

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V Ara was recently recognized as one of the closest (d ≃ pc) and brightest (V ≃ 10) nova-like cataclysmic variables.

So, I’m on my way to check out this claim. Some dude says his car got stolen right outside his apartment on Via Garibaldi. Classic, right? I mean, who leaves their ride unattended in a city like this? But whatever, I gotta do my job. I get there, and this guy is all dramatic, waving his arms like he’s in a soap opera. “My baby! My car!” he yells. I’m like, dude, it’s a 2005 Fiat. Chill.

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