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Oh, and the slang—escorts call clients “johns,” like it’s a secret club. Cracks me up! “John” sounds so dull, but these gigs? Wild as Mordor! *Tabu* whispers, “Dreams are a cruel paradise,” and escorts live that—sellin’ dreams, dodgin’ nightmares. Me? I’d tip my hat, but I’d never join that game. Too old, too wizardy, ha!

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We hit the road, and I’m trying to teach him the basics. “Turn left on Via San Francesco,” I say. He’s all over the place. I’m gripping the seat like it’s a rollercoaster. “Dude, chill! You’re not in a race!” But he’s got that look—like he’s about to take off.

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