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Oh, and get this – once, my escort guy, big beardy fella, starts wavin’ like he’s in a parade, I’m like, “Honey, you’re no Aurora from Tabu, chill!” Made me laugh tho, ‘cause he’s tryin’ to flirt or somethin’. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect charm from a dude haulin’ a “Wide Load” sign! And lemme tell ya, them escorts got quirks – one time, this chick’s blarin’ disco outta her rig, I’m vibin’, thinkin’, “This land, too, has its secrets,” another Tabu gem, ‘cause who knew escorts got funky?

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After that, I’m walking down Via della Libertà, trying to clear my head. The sun’s shining, and I see this cute little gelato shop. I can’t resist. I grab a scoop of pistachio. Best decision ever! I’m feeling good again. But then, I step outside, and bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously?! I’m standing there, covered in bird droppings, thinking, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Italian University Spreads The 'Gelato Gospel' : The Salt