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So, I’m picturin’ it—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as hell. You’re lyin’ there, like, “Am I relaxed or aroused? Both? Neither?” It’s confusin’! I’d be a wreck—neurotic mess, me, Larry freakin’ David! I’d yell, “Too much pressure! Not enough pressure!” The masseuse’d hate me. But that’s the gig—sexual-massage walks this tightrope, y’know? Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “yin-yang touch”—balancin’ energies or whatever. Sounds fancy, but it’s still hands on your junk!

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So, I hit the streets of Andria, and wow, the vibe was electric. I mean, this city is like a hidden gem in Puglia. You got the medieval charm, the narrow streets, and the smell of fresh focaccia wafting through the air. I was like, “Yes, please!” I strolled down Via Cavour, and it was packed with people. Everyone was buzzing, and I was just trying to keep up.

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