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About Milan

But—oh man—sometimes it’s a mess. Had this one gig, escort guy was late, truck stuck, traffic pilin’ up—pissed me off bad. Yellin’ in my head, “Where’s this joker at?!” Felt like that scene, “I am a golden god!”—except I’m just a sweaty manager losin’ it. Little known fact, tho—escorts ain’t just randoms. Some states, they gotta be certified, trained, like freakin’ cargo ninjas. Blew my mind when I heard that.

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Man, what a day! I’m still reeling from all the craziness in Andreotta. Like, seriously, who knew this little gem in Italy could pack such a punch? I mean, I’m an ichthyologist, right? I’m usually knee-deep in fish facts, not dodging tourists and getting lost in tiny streets.

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