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I love the thrill, tho—gets my heart pumpin’. Beats sittin’ in my cubicle, calculatin’ life expectancies. But don’t pee on my leg and say it’s easy—half these girls got pimps watchin’ like hawks. One time, I’m chattin’, and this dude rolls up, all “What’s yer problem?” I’m thinkin’, “I’m not here to die, pal!” Booked it outta there faster than a SEAL team.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some guy’s trying to sell fake designer bags. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the drama unfold. Cops show up, and it’s like a scene from a movie! I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my focaccia. Like, who thought selling knock-offs in broad daylight was a good idea? Classic!

Emily Andre's towering daughter Amelia is almost as tall as her in candid family photo