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What pisses me off? Ghostin’. You’re vibin’, sextin’, then—poof! Gone. “You’re alone now,” like in the movie—cuts deep. Happened to me once, mid-chat, she just vanished. Was I too creepy? Too Hannibal? Nah, people just suck. But when it works—oh, mate, it’s gold! Met this lass, fiery redhead, we clicked instant. Sex-dating jackpot! She was all, “Let’s skip the bullshit,” and I’m like, “Yes, ma’am!” Best night ever—felt like a king, not a prisoner.

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Then I hit up the market on Piazza della Libertà. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked bread. I’m in heaven! I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Alme!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to make a salad.” But she’s on a roll, telling me about her garden and how she talks to her plants. I’m just nodding, trying to escape.

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