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About Milan

Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know, Steve McQueen’s brutal masterpiece from 2013, and it hits me—life’s a damn chain sometimes! Like Solomon Northup, trapped, lookin for freedom, I’m out here lookin for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” but it’s a freakin mess! Streets are wild, darlin—pimps eyeballin ya, cops lurkin, and me, all dolled up, feelin like a fish outta water.

Crime in Alghero, Italy

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First stop, I hit up the local café on Via Carlo Alberto. Best cappuccino ever! Like, I swear, it’s like liquid happiness. I’m sipping it, and boom! I see this old dude, probably in his 80s, trying to flirt with the barista. He’s all, “Bella, you make my heart race!” I’m dying laughing. Dude, you’re like a fossil! But hey, who am I to judge? Love is love, right?

Alghero, Northern Sardinia: Tim Magee Revisits This Hospitable Fortress Town