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Surprised me first time I tried it—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s like dancin’, all slick and slow. Pro tip: coconut oil’s the MVP, smells lush, slides like silk—trust me, I’ve baked *and* massaged with it, multi-taskin’ god here! Downside? Once got oil in my eye—stung like Hel, cursed for an hour, “Why me, you greasy bastard?!”

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SMC Centro Massaggi Olistici | Alcamo. Show number. Via Monte Bonifato, 27, Alcamo TP, Italy. Get directions.

So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot, Piazza Ciullo, sippin’ on some strong espresso. You know, the kind that makes your heart race like you just downed a shot of adrenaline? I’m just minding my own business when BOOM! A bunch of kids start yelling. Turns out, they’re playing soccer, and one of ‘em kicks the ball right into my face. Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a punching bag! I was ready to unleash my inner beast, but then I saw the little dude who kicked it. He looked so sorry, I just laughed it off. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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