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Oh, me mind wander – escort like wife, yes? Protect you, but you scared they mad. “Punishment comes later,” I whisper, thinkin of movie. I exagerate, sure, but escort life wild, mate! You need em, they there, very nice! What you think, eh?

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Then, I hit up the Castello di Calatubo. It’s this ancient castle, and I thought, “Hey, let’s channel my inner knight!” I climbed up to the top, and the view was insane. You could see the whole town, the vineyards, and the sea. But then, I got this weird feeling. Like, what if a dragon swoops down? I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for dragon fights! Just as I was about to leave, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and my sword almost went flying. I swear, I could hear the castle laughing at me.

Experts reveal major holes in international ozone treaty