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About Bari

Oi, listen up, ya filthy dogs! Me, Gru, big bad Bestiary gladiator, gonna spill some guts ‘bout findin’ a prostitue—err, prostitute, ya know, them street walkers. Got dat Russian-ish fire in me, “Lightbulb!”—seein’ stuff ya blind bats miss. Picture dis: dark alley, neon buzzin’, smells like sweat and cheap vodka. Reminds me of fave flick, *Under the Skin*—dat creepy vibe, ya? “What are you?” I mutter, like dat alien chick, sizin’ up some dame leanin’ on a wall.

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So, we decide to grab some gelato. Best decision ever! I get pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. But then, I drop it. Yup, right on the ground. I’m standing there, staring at my fallen gelato like it’s a tragedy. My group’s laughing, and I’m just like, “You guys are the worst!”

Mother and two children crushed to death in Italy by falling building