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But when it’s good? Oh sugar, it’s heaven. Muscles melt, tension’s gone—poof! Like drivin’ full throttle through the Fury Road, wind in your hair, no war boys chasin’. This one gal I knew, she swore her masseuse unlocked some secret energy—kundalini or somethin’. Said she saw stars, felt like she could outrun Max himself. Me? I’m just happy if they hit the right spots—neck, shoulders, ooh, lower back, ya feel me?

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And then, just when I think I can finally relax, I hear sirens. A fire truck zooms past. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a small fire at a restaurant on Via Cavour. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I needed!” But then I hear the owner is a local hero, saving a bunch of kids from a burning building. I’m like, “Wow, that’s actually kinda awesome.”

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