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Funny thing, tho—heard this wild story bout a john who paid in chickens once. Chickens! I’m dyin, yall, imaginin him cluckin up the stairs. Prolly smelled like a barn too—gross! Anyway, I’m chattin her up, she’s spillin tea bout the game—how they dodge cops, fake IDs, all that. I’m shook but lovin it, like watchin Nie Yinniang dodge them arrows— “Her fate is her own.”

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So, I pop in, right? And the barista, this dude with a massive beard, takes forever. I mean, I could’ve brewed my own coffee in the time he took. Finally, I get my espresso, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat! Seriously?! I looked like I’d been attacked by a caffeinated octopus.

Genoa: State Police arrests a 51-year-old for drug dealing and seizes a hectogram of hashish