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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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The first bull comes out, and wow, what a beast! I mean, this guy was massive. I’m talkin’ like, “Did you eat a whole cow for breakfast?” I’m sweating bullets, but I gotta keep my cool. I’m strutting around, waving my banderillas like I’m in a dance-off. The crowd’s roaring, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.

Ferrari F40 prototype burns to a crisp