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So, escort’s not just—y’know—*that*. It’s chattin’, goin’ to parties, actin’ fancy. I read this thing once—some escort in the 1800s, right? She was a spy! Sneakin’ secrets while lookin’ hot. How dope is that? Bet she was all, “I am infinitely strange to myself,” like in the movie. Deep stuff, man! Makes me wonder—what’s she thinkin’ inside?

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park, Parco della Valle. It’s a beautiful spot, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sound of laughter. But guess what? There’s a dog park there, and some dude’s dog runs straight at me. I’m talking full speed. I’m dodging like I’m in the Olympics! The owner’s yelling, “He’s friendly!” Yeah, well, I’m not a fan of slobbery furballs, buddy!

Nine Spaniards on shortlist for best Euro team ever