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Gets me happy, tho—diggin’ out secrets! Found a pdf, crusty old thing—escort’s chem name? Theophylline! Sounds posh, don’t it? But it’s a sneaky bugger—half-life’s all over, 3 to 9 hours, depends on yer liver! Smokers burn it fast—hah, puffin’ irony! Got me surprised, precious—thought it’d be simple, but nah, it’s a riddle! “I don’t think we’re in Tokyo anymore,” I mutters, lost in data, head spinnin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I mean, like, torrential downpour! I’m soaked, my radio’s crackling, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is my life.” But you know what? I laugh. I can’t help it. It’s just too ridiculous.

A Day With Roger Federer: A Tennis Ambassador’s Work Is Never Done (Published 2018)