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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me misty thinkin’ ‘bout the lonely ones hirin’ escorts. Not just for the hanky-panky—some just want a chat, a hug. Breaks my heart, y’all. “We’re all in the same boat,” like the movie says, and ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, but I’d prob’ly scare ‘em off with my big hair and bigger mouth—ha!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Via delle Vigne. It’s a nice street, but I’m still soaked and kinda grumpy. I see this gelato shop, and I’m like, “Okay, I deserve a treat.” I order a scoop of pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter is super slow. I’m standing there, watching the clock like it’s a life-or-death situation. Finally, I get my gelato, and it’s melting faster than my patience.

Papal All Souls' Day Mass will be at cemetery for American war dead