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About Myself
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I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?
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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon lands on my head! I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, trying to get it off. The old guy is cracking up. I’m like, “Thanks for the help, man!” I finally shake it off, and I’m just standing there, embarrassed.
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