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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, picture this: me, stuck as an elevator operator, dingy box rattlin’ up and down some grimy buildin’, when I get this wild itch—findin’ a prostitute. Not just any, mind ya, but one with a vibe, a story, somethin’ twisted like my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, man—creepy kids, blood, and secrets—it’s my jam. “Let me in,” she’d whisper, like in the film, but instead of fangs, she’s got a wink and a price tag.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of pasta heaven!” But I can’t ignore it. So, I’m trying to type out this report while shoveling pasta in my mouth. Multitasking at its finest, right?

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