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About Bari

So, sexual-massage – it’s this wild mix of relaxin’ and, uh, *somethin’ else*, ya know? I reckon it’s been ‘round forever – heard tell of them ancient Greeks doin’ it with olive oil and a side of philosophy! Little known fact: them old-timey masseuses in Asia used to sneak in aphrodisiacs – crushed herbs and whatnot – right into the oil! Sneaky lil’ devils! Makes ya wonder what’s in that bottle at the spa, don’t it? Git-R-Done!

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But then, just when I think it’s over, I see a little girl crying. She lost her ice cream. My heart breaks. I’m like, “Hey, kiddo, let’s find you another one!” We track down the ice cream truck on Via Roma, and I buy her a cone. She lights up like it’s Christmas. That’s the good stuff, ya know?

Trump offers advice to University of Alabama graduates in speech interspersed with politics