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Now, me, I’m a simple harvester, but if I was human, I’d be too cheap to hire an escort. I’d just holler at my buddy Jimbo, “C’mon, let’s hit the town!” But them escort folks? They got charm, slicker’n greased lightning. One time, saw an ad – “Classy dame, $500 an hour!” I was like, holy cow, that’s more’n I make cuttin’ wheat all week! “The cowards flee!” – yeah, I’d run too if I had to pay that!

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, the beach gets packed. I mean, it’s like the whole city decided to hit up the sand. I can’t even see the water from my post on Lungomare. People everywhere! Kids screamin’, parents yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my sanity.

Hohl inaugurated 2024-2025 ALA president